Little Lie Big Lie
by salianne
Summary: Yet another angsty Nick-hates-his-his-big-gay-self-and-takes-it-out-on-Greg story. This is slash - if you don't like boy-loving you probably shouldn't read it. Also - angst and mentions of child abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Little Lie - Big Lie  
Author: Salianne  
Pairing: Greg/Nick  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: Yet another angsty Nick-hates-his-his-big-gay-self-and-takes-it-out-on-Greg story.  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.  
Warnings: This is slash - if you don't like boy-loving you probably shouldn't read it. Also - angst and mentions of child abuse.

Nick knew it was a low blow even before he said it.

He said it anyway.

Now he regretted it.

The way Greg couldn't even look at him made Nick feel sick – guilty – and a little lost.

Nick finished stowing his carry-on bag in the bin above his seat and took one last glimpse at the rather devastated looking man ten rows back. Greg was leaning against the window with his arms wrapped around himself. He was looking out the window in an obvious attempt to avoid looking at Nick. Greg's eyes were bloodshot and he had giant dark circles beneath them.

Nick wasn't sure how to fix it. He had done a really great job driving a wedge between them – too good.

It all started three days earlier – two days into a conference on forensic investigation technology. Nick and Greg had both been sent because they were the only ones still lacking required training hours for the year.

Neither man expected to fall into bed with each other.

And now Greg was under the impression that Nick believed Greg had set up the whole thing up – that he had taken advantage of a trusting friend in a vulnerable position – mostly because that is exactly the impression Nick intended to leave.

Which would explain Greg's current condition.

**~Two Days Earlier~**

Nick stood at the hotel room door for a good five minutes before he finally knocked.

_Just tell him it was a mistake. He'll understand. We were drunk. He probably regrets it too. _ There was a part of Nick – the part he locked away in the most remote corner of his soul – that didn't want Greg to regret one single second of it though.

The door opened with a flourish and Nick felt himself being yanked into the room by the front of his shirt. Before he knew what was happening, he had been slammed into the back of the closed door and had a very enthusiastic Greg pressed against him.

He felt hands skimming the bare skin underneath his shirt and warm breath ghost across his lips as Greg spoke. "I've been thinking about you all day, Nicky."

The next thing he knew, Greg's tongue was tangling with his own in what can only be described as the best kiss Nick had ever experienced in his life – the exception being the kisses they shared the previous night in a drunken rush to get laid.

Nick felt himself giving in to the buzzing in his body. As hard as he tried – it was impossible to deny how good Greg felt. How good Greg smelled and tasted. How good Greg…_oh no._ Nick grabbed Greg by the shoulders and pushed him away so hard that Greg fell to the floor three feet away with an audible thud that made Nick wince. _That had to hurt._ He glared at the man looking up at him from the floor. Greg looked confused and embarrassed…and a little bit hurt – the kind of hurt that doesn't come from one's ass slamming into the carpet hard enough to make the floor vibrate a little.

Nick made a show of wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "Sorry, Greg. But…Greg…last night was a mistake." _There – done._

_Or maybe not._ Greg was shaking his head. "No…it wasn't."

_Fuck_. "Yes, Greg. It was. We were drunk. I'm not even into guys, Greg. It was just two friends being drunk and fucking up. That's all it…"

"No!" Greg insisted. "I wasn't drunk, Nick."

_What?_ "What do you mean you weren't drunk? We were both…"

"You were definitely drunk. I was a little buzzed. But I knew what I was doing." Greg looked almost defiant. "And honestly, you didn't seem that drunk either, Nick. You seemed to know exactly what you wanted. You wanted me. And good god, I wanted you. I've wanted you for so long, Nicky."

Greg stood as he spoke and stepped toward Nick. Nick stepped back – he needed space between him and that Greg-smell that caused him to do things he had only ever dreamed about…_until last night._

"No, Greg. I didn't – don't – want you. I was drunk out of my mind. I don't even remember most of it! I mean seriously Greg – if I was so into you why did you wake up alone this morning?"

He could see Greg thinking about it before he made his next argument. "Just because you freaked out a little doesn't mean you didn't want it, Nick. I admit - I was a little freaked out too. I mean – god Nick – we made-love last night! I never thought I had a chance – it's a lot to wrap your head around…"

"Shut up!" _This is crazy. It's not supposed to go this way. Think, Nick! Think!._ "We did NOT, by any stretch of the imagination, make-love. Gross, Greg! That's just…oh god…I think I'm going to be sick."

Nick could see that this change in tactic was working. Greg looked taken aback – almost sad. He knew he had found the right tone to get Greg to back off and let the whole thing go. So Nick just took it to the next level and went for the proverbial kill. "So wait…back up, Greg. Are you telling me that you KNEW I was drunk – way drunker than you – and you STILL dropped trou' and bent over for me?"

Greg was the one to take a step back this time. He looked mortified. "I didn't…"

"Oh my god, Greg. You're my best friend. Since I lost 'Rick you've been my only confidant and you do THIS to me? You know about what happened to me, Greg. You know all about my past – the babysitter – and you took advantage of me anyway? You're no better than her, Greg. You…god, Greg…you practically raped me!"

He heard Greg take in a harsh breath before clasping his hand over his mouth – partly obscuring the complete shock that rushed across his features. Greg's body began to visibly shake, his hands – which were both tightly clamped over his mouth now – were quaking so badly his hair bounced from the movement. Nick watched – shocked himself by the instantaneous devastation that had taken over his friend – as a thick cascade of tears literally burst from Greg's eyes.

Nick stepped out of the way when Greg rushed to get to the bathroom. While Greg violently threw up what seemed like everything he had eaten for the last month, Nick bolted from the room. He knew he had made a tactical error but had no idea how to fix it.

So instead – he left Greg to deal with the aftermath of his big lie - alone.

**~*~**

Nick settled into his middle seat and thought about his best friend.

_Greg. Sweet, lovable, dependable Greg._

When Greg had first landed on the scene, Nick thought he was just a kid with no ambition or direction in life. It didn't take long for Nick to realize that Greg was smart – really smart. What came off as cavalier was really Greg's way of balancing that smart part of himself with the fun part of himself. Once Nick got to know him a little better he understood – Greg spent his whole life trying to fit into a world that wasn't made for him. He was nerdy, skinny, and sexually ambiguous – for a young Greg, it was be funny or be trampled.

Greg chose funny.

Nick enjoyed his friendship with Greg – always had. But it wasn't until after Warrick's death that Nick understood how truly deep Greg's feeling went. They had started spending more time together, mostly it was Greg trying to make sure Nick was surviving the loss – but they bonded during that time. Then one night Nick walked into the locker room and heard Greg's voice. He was talking to Sara on his cell phone. Nick hid behind a row of lockers and listened – at first to see if he would get any good scoop about Sara and Grissom, but then Greg started talking about him.

To say Nick was surprised would be a bit of a lie.

Nick always had a suspicion that Greg had a little crush on him. He liked it – the innocent flirting was fun. When Nick heard Greg say it out loud – and sound so…sad – he wasn't sure he liked it anymore. The flirting suddenly didn't feel so innocent.

It took him a couple of weeks to pack away his own feelings again – the ones he keeps hidden away because they are messy and complicated and completely counter to the Nick he has carefully constructed for public viewing.

It took a little more than a couple of weeks for him to settle into the ease again.

And then in one night in a tacky hotel in Detroit – a few reckless hours really – Nick managed to ruin everything. But instead of dealing with it like a man – dealing with the truth and figuring out how to move forward with what he had always wanted – desired – needed…he dumped the burden onto Greg so he could lock the vault and stay hidden.

**~Three Days Earlier~**

The bar at the hotel was nearly empty. They had been drinking for nearly three hours and even the most persistent of the ladies who were hoping for a conference-romp had moved on to men who were a little less into each other than they were the easy women throwing themselves at their sneaker-clad feet.

Nick already knew who he wanted tonight though.

And he was almost drunk enough to go for it.

Greg watched a curvy red-head walk away and turned to Nick, "Dude. You could have totally had that one. You blew it man!"

"Night's not over yet, G." Nick slurred a little.

Greg laughed before he leaned in a conspiratorial manner. "Nicky. I hate to break it to ya, but we're the only two left in this bar. She was your last chance for action tonight."

"I still got one more." Nick grabbed Greg's collar and pulled him close enough to whisper into his ear. "And I already know you're a sure thing."

Greg froze. He chuckled nervously and spoke in a shaky voice. "You're too drunk to know what you want..."

This time Nick bit Greg on the neck before he spoke. "I'm just drunk enough..." It was just a little lie.

Greg jumped back. Nick saw red creeping up Greg's neck and he liked knowing that he had that kind of effect on his young friend.

"I'm heading up to my room. See you in the morning Nick." Greg power walked out of the bar after tossing way too much money down for his share of the tab.

Nick tossed a little more money on top of Greg's and followed. Chased. Hunted.

By the time they reached the elevators, Nick had caught up. As soon as the doors slid closed, Nick backed Greg against the far wall and licked his face before he growled like a predator into Greg's mouth. "I'm going to do things to you that would make even a Vegas whore blush."

"Nicky." Nick thought it was cute that Greg looked a little scared. "You're drunk. You need to go back to your room and sleep it off."

"No, what I need to do is get you into your room and live out every filthy fantasy I've ever had about you"

Greg's eyes widened, "You've had fantasies about me?"

"For years, G. YEARS! You've been a fucking cock tease for as long as I've known you and tonight you're going to follow through on…"

"I'm not a cock tease." Greg argued. "I've never teased you. If you wanted me all you had to do is…"

"Shut up." Nick demanded as the elevator dinged and the doors opened on Greg's floor. He watched Greg's pupils dilate and knew he wasn't going to have to do much more convincing. "Let's go."

Things happened fast after Greg's card-key slid into his door. Nick remembers Greg asking him if he was sure - right before he grabbed Greg's head and pushed that gorgeous mouth toward his zipper. Clothes were flying all around them and there was a sudden relief that came from the hot, wet sucking of Greg's divine tongue.

Nick was pretty sure he bruised the back of Greg's throat from the force of his uncontrolled hip-thrusting. Nick talked himself out of feeling bad about it though because Greg was a man after all, and men like it a little rough.

Besides, Greg wasn't complaining. If anything, he was begging for more of the same.

So that's what Nick gave him. More of the same and more of other stuff too. By the time Nick was done living out his filthy fantasies he wasn't sure Greg was going to be able to walk for a few days. Nick was sure Greg was the best lover he had ever had – ever. He was open and willing and unashamed. It was everything Nick dreamed it would be and more. Greg was sprawled beneath him – sweaty and panting and covered in Nick's mess. He felt Greg's hand slide across his shoulders as he heard his breathless voice say something that sounded a little like 'I love you' before he closed those trusting brown eyes and fell into a well earned slumber.

Leaving Nick alone with his old friend, Denial.

_Oh god. _

_I fucked Greg._

_No no no no no._

_Wait. It's Greg. No problem. Greg's cool – he's a free spirit – some would say he's kind of easy – right? He'll be fine. No big deal. Right? _

_Oh god._

Nick rolled himself off of Greg's used body and right out of the door. He was in such a hurry to get away from the evidence of his fulfilled desires that he only managed to get his jeans back on – he carried his shoes, socks and shirt with him. He took the stairs up six flights so he wouldn't have to deal with anyone on the elevator. Once he made it safely to his own room, he fell onto his bed and breathed deeply so he could smell Greg's scent - which still lingered on his skin. _God - he smells better than I imagined. I fucked Greg. I fucked him and I ditched him like he's nothing to me. _

_Why does it feel like he's everything to me?_

He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep with only one thought screaming in his head.

_Oh god – what have I done._

**~*~**

When Nick pulled into the parking lot his first night back from the conference and saw Greg's car, his stomach clenched. He was literally filled with dread. He knew what he did to Greg was wrong. Not only the drunken – _not so drunken_ – sex part. It was the way he turned the tables on him. The way he turned the night they shared - a night Greg believed was about love - into something vile for which Greg now felt so much shame and remorse. Nick turned something Greg believed to be beautiful – _the __**beginning**__ of something beautiful_ – and made it into…_oh god._

Nick was exhausted. He felt like had hadn't slept since that night – mostly because he hadn't.

He hadn't worked out all the details yet, but was close to it. He hoped that by the end of the night he would have made amends – at least a little – and start the long process of gaining Greg's trust again. He hoped they would be back on track with their friendship…and maybe more…_maybe a lot more._

Over the days he had spent every second regretting not only the cruel way he had treated Greg – but also the lifetime he had spent hiding from himself. He decided that it was time to stop regretting and start living. It was time for Nick to have the life he had been denying himself for as long as he can remember.

And Greg HAD to be part of that.

But first he had to face him. It was that first meeting, face-to-face, that Nick was most anxious. _It's like pulling off a band-aide, Stokes. Just rip it off and let the healing begin._

When he stepped into the assignment room he was surprised to find it empty. In fact, the entire lab seemed eerily quiet. He wandered down the hall and saw no one. It wasn't until he reached the last interrogation room that he found most of the night shift crowded into the small viewing room. He opened the door and crammed himself inside. "What's going on?"

"SHHH!" Hodges demanded. "Greg's confessing."

"What?" Nick was sure he heard wrong.

Wendy clarified in a hushed tone. "Greg came in an hour ago and asked Catherine to step in here. Archie happened to be in here working on the blown speaker and he heard Greg start confessing that he raped someone while he was at that conference last week. He grabbed Bobby, who grabbed me, I grabbed Hodges and we…"

"Wait, slow down." Nick shook his head as if he were clearing cob webs. "Greg - _**OUR **_Greg – said he _**raped**_ someone last week?"

"I know – crazy, huh? You got here just in time – he just really started talking about what he did…"

Wendy turned away from Nick to watch. Nick followed her gaze through the one-way mirror and saw Greg sitting across the interrogation table from Catherine. Brass was standing behind him looking at the ground shaking his head in disbelief.

"So let me see if I understand this." Catherine said in a motherly way. "You were at a bar with someone. You got her drunk and then took her back to your room and had sex with her against her will?"

Greg's eyes never left the table in front of him. He nodded sadly.

"You need to say it, Greg. The microphones can't hear your head rattle." Brass said quietly.

Greg took a deep breath before speaking – barely audible. "Yes."

Nick was sure his heart stopped beating. _Oh no._

"We need a name, Greg." Catherine said.

"I can't…I mean…(sigh)…I never got her name." Greg's voice almost broke.

_He's protecting me. Why is he doing this? What the fuck __**IS**__ he doing?_

Catherine grabbed his hand. "Greggo. Sweetie. Are you sure about this? I mean, without a name there's really no case anyway. I'm not sure I understand…"

Greg finally looked up. Everyone in the tiny observation room gasped when they saw his face. He looked haunted. The pain and self-hatred was etched in every line and shadow of his beautiful face. Nick was most notably affected by the shattered stated of his friend. _What the fuck have I done?_

"It doesn't matter if you know who I did this to, Catherine. _** I**_ know I did this. Don't you see? I KNOW. I'm…I just…what's next? There's something wrong with me. I don't even know when I'm…I…god Cath...did you forget? I…first I...I KILLED a kid - REMEMBER?! I killed…he was just a kid and I…then…fucking hell - he was my friend…how could I do that to him?" Greg broke down into incoherent sobs, leaving Catherine and Brass very confused.

"Greg? I don't understand. Who are you talking about? Who is your friend and what does he have to do with…"

"I am."

Catherine and Brass both jerked their heads toward the door to see Nick standing in the open doorway. He looked tired and ragged and couldn't take his eyes off of Greg.

Greg started shaking.

Nick spoke to Catherine and Brass but only had eyes for Greg. "I'm the friend."

"Nicky? What's going on?" Catherine asked sternly.

Nick stepped into the room and knelt on the floor in front of Greg. He grabbed the legs of the chair Greg sat in and turned the chair so Greg faced him. Greg's body shook uncontrollably and his hands were almost shaking off of his wrists. Nick grabbed them and held them steady. Nick took a deep breath and closed his eyes before he spoke.

"Greg…"

Greg made a feeble attempt to speak through his hiccupping sobs. "I'm (hic) so... sorry…N...Ni…Nicky."

Nick squeezed Greg's hands. "No, G, I'm the one who's sorry."

Greg tried to pull away.

"G, look at me." Nick tipped Greg's chin up with one had until they were looking at each other. Nick felt the world fall away beneath him when he saw the depth of pain in Greg's eyes. "Oh Greg, I'm so sorry I did this to you."

Greg shook his head – saying so much without saying anything at all.

"Yes – I did this to you. G, listen to me. You didn't kill that kid. You hear me? You DIDN'T kill that kid – he was going to kill YOU and he had already almost killed Mr. Tanner. You're not a killer, G – you're a fucking hero. You got that? You're a fucking…fucking hero." Nick was finding it hard to control his own tears now. "And you didn't rape me, Greg. I wasn't that drunk – no more drunk that you were. I'm just not as brave as you are, G. So I used my own past against YOU. I lied, G. I remember everything and I lied. You understand, G? I remember everything WE did - WE did TOGETHER. I wanted you, G. I've always wanted you. I'm so sorry..."

Nick could hear the excited murmur coming from behind the glass.

"One of you better start explaining." Catherine demanded – her tone was all business now.

Greg was still shaking and crying so Nick did the right thing – finally - and spoke for both of them. His eyes never left Greg's.

"Greg and I hooked up at the conference. It was actually all my doing." Nick smiled at Greg. "I've been in-love with this guy for so long and I just…finally gave in to it."

Greg's eyes were streaming heavily, but his body stopped quaking. Nick took this as a good sign and combed his fingers through Greg's hair lovingly. "You are a generous lover, G. I'm a selfish one."

Catherine was starting to understand. "Greg…did you rape Nick?"

"He didn't rape me." Nick answered. "I made him think he did, though."

"You what?!" Catherine was obviously shocked.

"I was so afraid of how I feel – how much I love him – that I told him I was too drunk to know what I was doing and he took advantage of me. I told him that he was no better than the babysitter who molested me when I was a kid. I told him that what he did to me made me sick – literally sick." Nick confessed tearfully – never taking his eyes from the man in front of him. "I lied, G. I didn't even think about how that would make you feel. How many nights did we spend together talking about Demetrius James? How many times did I have to tell you that you aren't a murderer? I know how you are - how you take on so much more than you should. How could I do that to you, G? How could I not consider how my manipulation would make you feel? What kind of friend am I? I'm heinous…"

"You're not…" Greg croaked. "You're just scared…"

"G…" Nick pulled Greg off of the chair so they were both on their knees facing each other. "I don't want to be scared anymore."

Greg leaned against Nick - suddenly letting himself succumb to the exhaustion.

"I'm so sorry. I…I should have just told you how I felt instead of….god…G…I..." Nick pulled him close and spoke softly into his hair. "I don't want to be scared anymore. And I never want to hurt you like this again…ever."

Catherine and Brass stepped from the room, leaving Nick to try his best to fix the mess he created. A mess Catherine was still trying to wrap her head around – it was just so un-Nick-like to be so intentionally cruel. She always knew there was something simmering between her two friends – she just never would have imagined it would have come out like this. _Fix it Nicky. Fix it and find yourself a little happiness._

As she passed the observation room she stuck her head in the door to get her lab back to work. "Show's over people. We got crimes to solve."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Uncovering Truth

Author: Salianne

Pairing: Greg/Nick

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 3891

Summary: This is Greg's POV of Little Lie – Big Lie (Yet another angsty Nick-hates-his-his-big-gay-self-and-takes-it-out-on-Greg story.) The "lie" one-shot has become a trilogy. So one more after this.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.

Warnings: This is slash - if you don't like boy-loving you probably shouldn't read it. Also - angst and mentions of child abuse.

He hadn't slept in days.

Since he woke up alone in his wrecked bed in a crappy hotel room in Detroit – smelling like Nick – he had been wide awake.

At first he was simply buzzing with the adrenaline of anticipation. He waited all day to see Nick again. They were attending different tracks at the conference so he was forced to wait until the end of the last session to see his best friend…and new lover.

And then the knock on the door changed everything.

It was more the look on Nick's face after the door opened that changed everything.

Or maybe it was the way Nick's hands felt on his chest before his ass hit the floor.

It was definitely the sound of the door slamming as Nick ran from his room while he puked all over himself.

_Yeah – that was the moment that changed everything._

He couldn't get the word out of his head. _ Rape._ It was more than that. The word weighed him down. It slowed his heart rate from the ache of what he had done.

What he did to his best friend. _…you practically raped me…_

_Oh god._

What he did to the man he fell in love with so long ago he can't even remember a day that wasn't a constant struggle to balance the inside feelings with the outside reality of his complicated relationship with Nick Stokes.

A relationship that exploded into a realization of every single fantasy he had ever had before it burned the fiery death in the haze of too much alcohol.

In heat of the moment it seemed like Nick was doing all the taking.

Which was fine with him – he had dreamed of being taken by Nick for so long he would have endured anything to make sure the moment never _ever_ ended.

And he endured a very, very aggressive lover in Nick. It was like Nick was living out years of frustration himself.

Indeed, every time he sat, stood, or walked too fast reminded him that Nick Stokes was now his lover. He actually sat with a little more vigor just to increase his anticipation during the entire next day.

The sting of simple movement was also a reminder that drove a knife into his heart for the days following Nick's shame-filled escape from his hotel room.

_How could I have done that to him? God._

He spent the weekend trying to figure out how he got it so completely wrong.

He spent the weekend trying to figure out how to make it right again.

**~Five Days Earlier~**

"Dude. You could have totally had that one. You blew it man!" He had gotten so used to faking it, he almost sounded sincere.

"Night's not over yet, G."

He wasn't sure how to interpret the look on his friend's face. "Nicky. I hate to break it to ya, but we're the only two left in this bar. She was your last chance for action tonight."

"I still got one more." Nick grabbed Greg's collar and pulled him close enough to whisper into his ear. He could feel Nick's breath on his cheek. "And I already know you're a sure thing."

_What the fuck?_ "You're too drunk to know what you want..." _This is NOT happening._

"I'm just drunk enough..."

_Oh fuck. Did he just bite me? _ Greg jumped back and felt his face heat up. "I'm heading up to my room. See you in the morning Nick."

He couldn't get out of there fast enough. His whole body was reacting and he needed as much distance from Nick as possible. He finally reached the elevator and sighed in relief as the doors began to slide closed. He closed his eyes to clear his head and before he knew what was happening he felt himself being slammed against the back wall of the elevator. He was literally covered up with Texan heat.

Nick placed his lips achingly close before he growled. "I'm going to do things to you that would make even a Vegas whore blush."

_Oh shit. _ "Nicky. You're drunk. You need to go back to your room and sleep it off."

"No, what I need to do is get you into your room and live out every filthy fantasy I've ever had about you"

_Say what? _ "You've had fantasies about me?"

"For years, G. YEARS! You've been a fucking cock tease for as long as I've known you and tonight you're going to follow through on…"

"I'm not a cock tease." _Am I? _ "I've never teased you. If you wanted me all you had to do is…"

"Shut up." He watched Nick's eyes darken and felt his hands curl around his shirt before he felt himself being pulled from the elevator. "Let's go."

He doesn't even remember unlocking the door to his room. It was like one minute he was in the elevator breathing in more of Nick than his heart could bear and the next he was on his knees with a shirtless Texan leaning against the back of his door. He was looking at a rather substantial bulge underneath the zipper of Nick's jeans. "Are you sure, Nicky?"

He felt Nick's fingers claw into the back of his head. "Just fucking do it."

He could smell Nick's desire through thick denim and there was nothing stopping him. He worked through zippers and cotton with shaky fingers until he had every one of his senses full – FULL – of Nick.

And Nick seemed to want it. Really, really want it. He found himself having to concentrate on controlling the muscles of his throat to keep himself from gagging through Nick's thrusting.

And he wanted it too – every bit of it. The pulling of hair and the forceful, demanding thrust of hips. He wanted the bruises from the fingers that gripped his hips while Nick pounded into him.

He didn't even stop to demand that Nick wear a condom. Hell, he can't even remember if they managed to find lube.

It was like they were both so fucking hungry and needy and nothing mattered but feeling everything at once.

He had never felt anything like it – ever. Intensity. Passion. So much longing and want and declarations of wasted time and unrequited love.

He said it – he heard it.

Nick loved him.

He was sure he had heard him say it.

Twice.

And he returned the sentiment as he felt himself fall into the darkness that comes from really good sex with someone who really wanted to have it.

**~Three Days Earlier~**

At least that's how it seemed at the time.

_He DID want it? Right?_

_Apparently not. _

While he struggled to make sense of the fact that he misread every, single second of that night, he slumped into his seat to try to avoid looking at Nick several rows in front of him.

_He looks so tired._

He watched Nick reach to put his carry-on in the bin above his seat. He felt his face heat up with shame and self-loathing when he realized he was looking at the strip of skin that had been exposed between the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his tight jeans.

_I should be shot._

He quickly averted his gaze north and watched Nick quickly look away the second their eyes met.

_He can't even look at me._

He sank deeper into his seat and closed his eyes in a vain attempt to avoid the raging conflict in his heart.

_What have I done._

Exhaustion took over somewhere between the preflight instructions and actual takeoff. The darkness of sleep did nothing to quiet the screaming in his head. He relived the hours that destroyed a friendship – only this time he saw everything that transpired from Nick's perspective. He felt confusion and overwhelming betrayal from someone he trusted with his life. He felt the fear of a little boy left at the mercy of a twisted babysitter. He felt the shame that comes from the feel and smell of someone else's unwanted desire clinging to your skin.

The bounce of the plane landing brought him back from the darkness and he was drenched in sweat. He waited in his seat until the plane was empty – assuring that Nick was far enough away to avoid bumping into him – and then he trudged down the long, narrow aisle to face the mess he had made.

**~Present~**

Every time he closed his eyes he relived it.

Not the horror he inflicted upon his best friend several nights before. That would actually be a relief from the reoccurring nightmare that would not give him rest. No, the nightmare that plagued him was Nick's face slamming into the windshield of the Denali. The Denali he was driving when it slammed into Nick's helpless body - right before he was ripped from his seat and pulled through the driver's window to face a mob of faceless attackers. He felt each kick and punch as if he were reliving the beating all over again – only this time he didn't ask himself 'why me' because he already knew.

The only way to escape the nightmare was to take the punishment he deserved. The angry mob from years past didn't rid the world of the stain that was Greg Sanders – so Greg would have to do it himself. His only regret was that Nick had to suffer before he understood what he needed to do. _Killing a kid wasn't enough? I had to kill my best friend's spirit too?_

He sat in his car and stared at the building, preparing himself for the confession he was about to give. He hoped that by taking responsibility for what he had done to his friend – maybe Nick could finally be relieved from the burden he had carried around almost his entire life. Greg thought maybe by owning it – taking the blame and holding himself completely, solely responsible for what happened between them – maybe he could show his friend that it was not Nick's fault – not now and not then, when he was a small boy in Texas.

Maybe through Greg, Nick could finally be free from his shame.

Maybe that's what he could give to Nick to make it as close to right as it will ever be again.

_Maybe. _

_Maybe not. _

He just knew he had to try. He owed it to the man he cherished above all others.

Catherine noticed right away. He felt her gentle touch on his back before he heard her concerned voice. "Greg? You look like hell. What's wrong?"

_Everything._ "I need to talk to you."

"Sure." She gently squeezed his shoulder. "Let's go in my office."

"No." His voice sounded harsh to his own ears. He noticed Catherine recoil. "No. Can we…I need to…can we go to the on-site interrogation room? It's out of the main traffic and I really need privacy." _Nick needs his privacy._

"Greg…you're really freaking me out." Catherine placed an arm around his shoulder. "Let's go."

_Don't touch me. _ He moved from her reach and headed toward the less populated end of the lab. "Grab Brass and I'll meet you down there."

Catherine looked at him curiously and spoke to his retreating back. "I thought you wanted privacy."

He didn't have the energy to explain – so he didn't

Within five minutes, Catherine and Brass walked through the thick door of the sound-proof room. The room was rarely used; most suspects were questioned at police headquarters. But once in a while they needed a place on site that could serve the purpose. The small room was on the farthest end of the lab which meant no one would be walking past on their way from one lab to another – which is what Greg was counting on.

Catherine took a seat in the chair opposite of Greg with a table between them. Brass stood behind him, leaning against the far wall. Catherine sighed dramatically before speaking. "You want to explain what this is all about?"

He pushed the button on the edge of the table to start the recording equipment before he spoke. He didn't notice Brass and Catherine exchange glances and making a silent agreement not to tell Greg that the room's recorder wasn't working.

"I want to confess a crime." He said without emotion. His eyes stayed focused on his hands which were nervously twisting in a knot of fingers on the table in front of him.

Catherine exchanged another look with Brass. "Okay. I'm listening."

_God._ He took a deep breath and said it all in one long sentence without pause. _Like ripping off a band aide. _ "When I was at the conference last week I took someone to my room after a night at a bar and we were both drunk and I took advantage of the situation and had sex without consent." _ I just can't say that word out loud._

The silence was deafening. He could hear the ticking of the watch Brass was wearing. He could also hear the swishing sound of his heart beating in his ears. He couldn't bring himself to look at the woman sitting across from him. He couldn't bear to see the disappointment in her eyes. The sting of his own tears burned his eyes before dripping onto his tangle of fingers as he waited for the wrath that was due to him.

"So let me see if I understand this." Catherine said in a motherly way. "You were at a bar with someone. You got her drunk and then took her back to your room and had sex with her against her will?"

_Oh god._ His eyes never left the table in front of him. He nodded sadly.

"You need to say it, Greg. The microphones can't hear your head rattle." Brass said from behind him, keeping the fact that they weren't being recorded from Greg, speaking in a tone that Greg had never heard him use before. It was soft and gentle and filled with disbelief.

He took a deep breath before speaking and was shocked by how small his voice sounded. "Yes." _Ohgodohgodohgod…_

He heard the rustling of clothing as Catherine moved in her chair. She leaned forward a bit before she spoke. "We need a name, Greg."

"I can't…I mean…" _no one can know his secret _ "…I never got her name." His voice almost broke.

Catherine grabbed his hand. "Greggo. Sweetie. Are you sure about this? I mean, without a name there's really no case anyway. I'm not sure I understand…"

He finally looked up. _Don't you get it? I'm a fucking monster._ "It doesn't matter if you know who I did this to, Catherine. I know I did this. Don't you see? I KNOW. I'm…I just…what's next? There's something wrong with me. I don't even know when I'm…I…god Cath...did you forget? I…first I...I KILLED a kid - REMEMBER? I killed…he was just a kid and I…then…fucking hell - he was my friend…how could I do that to him?" He could feel himself falling apart at the seams. The grief rushed through him in waves and he could no longer stop himself from breaking down into incoherent sobs, leaving Catherine and Brass very confused.

"Greg? I don't understand. Who are you talking about? Who is your friend and what does he have to do with…"

"I am."

Hearing Nick's voice was more than he could tolerate. He felt his entire body quaking and he couldn't stop it. _What is he doing here? Please go away, Nicky. Let me finish this._

"I'm the friend." Nick's voice sounded soothing and it confused the hell out of Greg.

"Nicky? What's going on?" Catherine asked. _She sounds pissed. _

He saw the shadow that smelled like Nick fall across the table before he felt his chair being forced to face the man now kneeling next to him. It felt like his was shaking apart from the inside out. _Please don't. Nicky please. I can't look at you._

Nick grabbed his hands and held them steady. "Greg…"

_Oh god._ Nick's touch felt like heaven and hell at the same time. "I'm (hic) so... sorry…N...Ni…Nicky."

Nick squeezed Greg's hands. "No, G, I'm the one who's sorry."

He tried to pull away before Nick could say anything else. He couldn't stand the thought of Nick feeling responsible for any part of what happened. The only way Greg could make it right was to take full responsibility. _It's the only way_.

"G, look at me." Nick tipped Greg's chin up with one hand until Greg had no choice but to look into Nick's eyes. What he saw a mixture of pain, remorse, and affection. "Oh Greg, I'm so sorry I did this to you."

He didn't know what to say. _What? No. It's not your fault. I did this._ He shook his head and tried to put words together

"Yes – I did this to you. G, listen to me. You didn't kill that kid. You hear me? You DIDN'T kill that kid – he was going to kill YOU and he had already almost killed Mr. Tanner. You're not a killer, G – you're a fucking hero. You got that? You're a fucking…fucking hero." Nick was crying.

_Don't cry, Nicky. I'm so sorry._

Nick swallowed and continued. "And you didn't rape me, Greg. I wasn't that drunk – no more drunk that you were. I'm just not as brave as you are, G. So I used my own past against YOU. I lied, G. I remember everything and I lied. You understand, G? I remember everything WE did - WE did TOGETHER. I wanted you, G. I've always wanted you. I'm so sorry..."

_What? I don't understand. _ After days of wrapping his head around Nick's truth and finding the strength to do the right thing, he wasn't sure how to switch gears. _What are you saying? _

"One of you better start explaining." Catherine demanded. _ Oh yeah – she's pissed. _

Greg was so confused and stunned he didn't even know how to explain it. But he didn't have to because Nick did it for both of them.

"Greg and I hooked up at the conference. It was actually all my doing." Nick's smile was breathtaking. "I've been in-love with this guy for so long and I just…finally gave in to it."

_What?_ He felt himself shaking even harder and wasn't sure whether he was relieved or angry. Once he felt Nick's fingers gently combing through his hair he settled on one emotion; overwhelming relief.

"You are a generous lover, G. I'm a selfish one."

_Did he just say that out loud?_

"Greg…did you rape Nick?" Catherine asked.

_I guess he did say it out loud. God._

"He didn't rape me." Nick answered. "I made him think he did, though."

_Is this real?_

"You what?" Catherine was obviously shocked.

_He what?_

"I was so afraid of how I felt – how much I love him – that I told him I was too drunk to know what I was doing and he took advantage of me. I told him that he was no better than the babysitter who molested me when I was a kid. I told him that what he did to me made me sick – literally sick." Nick never took his tear filled eyes from Greg's.

_This is a dream._

"I lied, G. I didn't even think about how that would make you feel. How many nights did we spend together talking about Demetrius James? How many times did I have to tell you that you aren't a murderer? I know how you are - how you take on so much more than you should. How could I do that to you, G? How could I not consider how my manipulation would make you feel? What kind of friend am I? I'm heinous…"

_NO! Stop it!_

"You're not…" Greg croaked. "You're just scared…"

"G…" He allowed Nick to pull him off of his chair until he was sitting on the floor, leaning against Nick's warm body... "I don't want to be scared anymore."

He suddenly felt too tired and he allowed himself to melt into Nick.

"I'm so sorry. I…I should have just told you how I felt instead of….god…G…I..." Nick's ever tightening hold felt so good. "I don't want to be scared anymore. And I never want to hurt you like this again…ever."

He heard the shuffling of the two other people leaving the room. They were finally alone.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

He looked into the deep brown of Nick's glassy eyes. _He means it._ "I don't know what I should feel, Nicky."

"I know." Nick's thumb brushed across his cheek. "What I've done here is truly unforgivable. It's not who I am. It's not how I feel. It's despicable. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve YOU. But I'm asking anyway, G. Please forgive me."

"Nicky…I…"

"Don't think about how you should feel – just tell me how you _**do**_ feel." Nick was almost begging.

_It's not that easy._ "Nicky…I…I'm so…confused…" _Is it?_ "…Nick…I love you."

And that was the truth of it. No matter what – he loved Nick. Loved him in that forever kind of way and had for so long he couldn't feel anything else. It was this love that caused him to succumb to Nick's drunken seductions and it was this same love that drove him to confess his sins in order to free Nick from the shackles of his shame.

There was no denying it. "I love you, Nick."

He wasn't sure what to expect after such a sober confession, but he certainly didn't expect Nick to kiss him. It was a grateful kiss. It was a soft, gentle kiss that said Nick loved him too.

It was the kind of kiss that made promises.

It was a kiss that ended way too soon.

"Next time I'm doing everything right when we make love." Nick searched his eyes – looking for the forgiveness that he never really needed to ask for in the first place.

_He said 'make love.' _ Greg felt himself smiling from the magnitude of his relief.

"Does that smile mean there will be a next time?" Nick asked hopefully.

He leaned a little farther into Nick's body heat. "I just need a little time."

"Cath will be sending us home, you know..." Nick sighed into Greg's hair. "...can I take you home?"

Greg pulled himself from Nick's warm embrace and looked into eyes that screamed for second chances. "Nicky. I need time."

He hated that Nick looked so sad.

"I'm not angry, Nicky. Okay? I just don't know how I feel about all of this...about you...and me...just give me a little time."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Naked Truth  
Author: Salianne  
Pairing: Greg/Nick  
Rating: NC-17

Word Count: ~4600  
Summary: This is last in the trilogy that started as a one shot titled Little Lie – Big Lie (Yet another angsty Nick-hates-his-his-big-gay-self-and-takes-it-out-on-Greg story.) This one has shifting POV's.  
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Just for fun.  
Warnings: This is slash - if you don't like boy-loving you probably shouldn't read it. Also - angst and mentions of child abuse.

Greg had only been asleep for a few hours when he was startled out of his much needed slumber by the ringing of his doorbell. _They aren't going to give up! _ He stumbled out of bed on wobbly legs and felt like he needed about three more days of sleep to feel human again. The strain of Nick's lie made it impossible to sleep for the last week and now that he has finally been freed from the guilt and shame of what he was accused of doing to his best friend, some asshole was wailing on his damn doorbell!

He managed to make his way to the door, his body bouncing from one wall to another in the hallway like a pinball. He wanted to slam the door open dramatically, but he was too weak from sleep and only managed to turn the knob and let the door open on its own.

He wasn't surprised to see Nick standing on the other side.

"When I said I need time I meant more than a few hours." Greg said to the nervous looking man standing on his doorstep.

Nick searched Greg's face for permission. He knew he was being monumentally selfish - again - but he really needed to resolve this. "Can I come in?"

"I'm really tired, Nick." Greg scrunched his face. "When's the last time you slept? You look like crap."

"Please." Nick hated that he sounded like he was begging. But he kinda was so he would let it slide. "I really need to talk."

Greg sighed and moved to allow Nick to pass. Once he had the door closed and locked he grabbed Nick by the hand and dragged him toward his bedroom.

"Greg...I said talk." Nick protested but felt a rush of _yesyesyes_ course through his body.

"We'll talk later." Greg crawled onto his bed. "Shoes off, the rest is up to you." Greg pulled his shirt off and tossed it toward a pile near his hamper. "I can't sleep with a shirt on..."

"Sleep?" Nick asked as he slid his shoes off of his feet.

"Yeah, sleep. I'm tried and you look terrible so we're going to sleep and we'll talk later." Greg reclined on the far side of the bed to make room for Nick.

Nick stripped down to his briefs and crawled next to Greg. He wrapped an arm around his waist before he rested his head on Greg's slim chest. "Is this okay?"

"Shhhhhh..." Greg said as his arm pulled Nick closer before he buried his fingers into Nick's dark hair. "Sleep."

And sleep they did. Seven hours without waking. Or moving. Greg woke up with Nick's face buried into his chest. He was drooling.

Greg thought it was cute.

He still wasn't sure how he felt about all of this or what he wanted to see happen between them moving forward - but he knew he couldn't even begin to talk through it all without coffee.

Nick woke up to cold sheets that smelled like Greg and he immediately felt like crying. He tried to give Greg space and time, but after three hours with nothing but his own remorse and guilt and building need to fix this and have a chance at happiness he found himself standing at Greg's door begging for some face time.

The last thing he expected was to crawl into bed to fall asleep with him.

He couldn't deny that he loved the way that felt.

But now he was alone in Greg's cold bed and he hoped that wasn't an indication of how the conversation they were about to have would go. He crawled out of bed and pulled on his jeans before he went to find Greg. He thought about putting his shirt back on too, but then thought maybe he could flex a little and get a few bonus points.

He only made it halfway down the hall before he turned around to put his shirt on.

Greg was standing in front of the coffee pot. His hair was sticking up in a million different directions, reminding Nick of the younger version of the man he met so many years ago he can't remember a time when he didn't know him.

"Greg."

Greg spun around at the sound of Nick's groggy voice. "Hey." He handed Nick a steamy mug. "Coffee's ready." He walked past Nick and headed towards the living room with his own mug.

Nick followed sheepishly.

Greg chose to sit in a chair opposite the sofa. "Nick..."

"Wait." Nick interrupted. "Before you say anything - can I just explain."

"I'm not sure it's going to change what I have to say, Nick." Greg said sadly.

"Please." Nick wasn't going to beat himself up for begging.

"Go on, then." Greg sat back and sipped his coffee.

Nick felt like he was being studied.

"Thank you, G." Nick took in a lung full of air. "I never meant to hurt you. I am so ashamed of what I did to you, Greg. Of all the people in my life - you're the last person I would ever want to hurt like that. Usually I'm very protective of you. I've always felt that way about you. I can't believe I..."

"Nick..."

"No, G. Let me get this out." Nick looked at his hands as he wrung them together nervously. "I'm...I've always been...I've known for years that...I'minlovewithyou." He said it fast before he chickened out. "I've been scared shitless for years, too."

Greg softened. "Why?"

Nick laughed nervously. "Look at you, G. You're...god, you're perfect. And you're funny and sweet and kind and..."

"No..." Greg interrupted. "...why are you so scared?"

"Greg. I'm a forty-something year old born-and-raised Texan with a carefully crafted reputation that my parents can live with. Falling in love with you...being with you would change everything. I would lose everything."

"Are you done?" Nick saw Greg deflate. "You've made quite a case for yourself there, Nicky."

"Shit." Nick never felt so frustrated. "Greg, please. This is coming out all wrong. I mean, that's why I've been so scared. But when we were...when I just let go and...making love with you felt righter than anything I've ever felt in my entire life. I want more of that, G. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I...I'm pretty sure I can finally be happy...with you."

Greg's chest felt heavy. Nick looked so sincere and so sad. And still scared shitless. "What are you afraid of now?"

"Huh?" Nick wasn't sure what Greg was asking.

"You look scared out of your mind, Nick."

"After what I did...I guess I'm afraid I've lost you for good." Nick's eyes were watery. "I'm not sure I could live with that."

"Why now? After all of these years...why now, Nick?" Greg needed to know what Nick wanted to get out of this. He needed to know that this wasn't jut an experiment or pity...or Nick Stokes' guilty heroics.

"I let myself go and felt real for the first time in my life. Then I freaked out. I thought about everything I would be risking to be with you and I...just freaked. Then I spent several days without you and I didn't like the way that felt, Greg. I realized that I would rather feel real happiness with you than die living a lonely lie. The people I've been so afraid of losing don't even know who I am, G. I've been pretending my whole fucking life. I'm tired." Nick took a breath. "Wow - that sounded really selfish, didn't it?"

"A little." Greg's was breaking for the man sitting on his sofa. "I'm sorry, Nicky. None of that changes what I'm going to say to you."

Nick felt the tears cascade down his cheeks. He felt like a thousands pounds were sitting on his chest. "I understand. I'm so sorry, G."

"Don't you want to hear it?" Greg put his mug on the coffee table before he pushed it to the side, leaving open space between them.

"I would rather not, but I owe you that much." Nick braced himself for Greg's wrath.

"I'm too old to date a closet-case, Nicky." Greg stood and stepped toward a wide-eyed Nick. "But you're only half-in at this point. It's all over the lab by now."

Nick felt his heart beating out of his chest when Greg straddled his lap and pushed him into the back cushions of the sofa.

"What I was going to say before is this..." Greg cupped Nick's face and wiped away his tears with the pads of his thumbs. "You really hurt me, Nick. I thought I...fuck, I can't even say it anymore. I never want to feel that way again, Nicky. Do you get me?"

Nick nodded because he couldn't seem to form words with Greg so close, smelling so good.

"Good." Greg leaned into Nick's body and almost touched lips to lips. "I love you too much to not give this a chance."

Nick gripped onto Greg's slim hips and tried to control the sob that threatened to escape his throat. "Greg..."

"Oh...and just to clarify. What we did last week wasn't making love. We fucked, Nick. I really like fucking and I hope we do lots of it, but I think you need to know the difference." Greg pressed his lips firmly against Nicks. "So what we're going to do right now...pay attention...because we're about to make love."

"Greg..." Nick pulled Greg closer, by palming his ass. "...want you. "

Greg pulled back to search Nick's eyes. "Are you sure?"

Nick almost whined. "Yes. God, G. I want you."

"You're not scared anymore?" Greg asked while allowing Nick's hands to explore the skin underneath his shirt. "I can't do this if you're going to freak out again."

Nick knew he needed to be honest - completely honest - if Greg were to ever really trust this. "I'm terrified, G. I'm fucking scared out of my mind. Loving you changes everything. I may lose some of my family when I tell them."

Hearing what Nick was risking caused Greg's chest to ache. "I would never ask you to tell them, Nicky."

Nick smiled and fell deeper. "I know that, G. But not telling them isn't an option. Because the thought of losing you scares me even more."

"I would never make you choose."

"I know." Nick pulled Greg into a soft, sweet kiss. "It's time for me to be the man I'm meant to be. _**You**_ make me want to be the man I'm meant to be, G. It's not a choice. I'm not choosing. I want them to know who I am and who I love and it's up to them to be a part of my life or not. I just want to be happy - for us to be happy."

_Good god that's a turn on._ Greg couldn't stop kissing him. He tugged at Nick's shirt so he could feel the skin he craved. "Maybe...(kiss)...we should...(kiss)...slow down..."

Nick yanked Greg's shirt off as soon as his arms were free from the shirt Greg had just pulled over his head. "Okay..."

Suddenly grinning was not even possible. Greg could only gaze at Nick, eyes asking a million questions, mouth gaping open - begging to be kissed.

Nick saw the hesitation. Nick felt a momentary heaviness in his chest imagining the heartbreak he had caused the beautiful man who looked at him with such intent - so willing to be vulnerable because that's how much Greg loved.

Nick wanted to get it right this time. Nick wanted to give Greg perfection.

Nick's eyes stayed locked onto Greg's - brown and brown mixing in the air between them. Greg felt Nick's hands on his chest, palms flat, snaking their way up to his neck. Nick's fingers wove themselves into Greg's hair, closing the space between them until Nick's lips met Greg's in a soft, gentle kiss. Nick took his time, no longer feeling the rush.

Nick felt safe.

Nick felt loved.

He pulled his lips from Greg's - reluctantly - and breathed in Greg's air as he rested his forehead onto Greg's.

"I'm feeling it, Greg. I'm letting go and I'm feeling it and it feels scary and it feel so fucking good that I can't breathe. I love you so much and it scares the shit out of me." Nick confessed again, feeling like this is the first time he had ever been this honest with the man he can't live without.

"I know. Nick, I know. I love you. I love you so much." Greg kissed Nick, a breathy, desperate kiss. When they broke the kiss to gasp for air, Greg's eyes were wet and he looked at Nick with a silent plea. "Please stay. Nick, please don't walk away now. We don't have to do anything, just please don't leave me now."

Nick saw Greg's eyes - filled with pain and the worst kind of expectation. "Oh god, Greg. No."

Nick pulled Greg into his arms, one hand gripped a handful of Greg's hair, the other pulled Greg close, firmly planted in the small of Greg's back. He felt the knotted scars and was reminded of how many times he almost lost this man before he even had a chance to _**have **_him.

"Greg, I'm sorry. I was just telling you how I feel, I wasn't preparing to bolt - I promise." Nick spoke softly into Greg's ear. "Greg, I want you. I need you."

Nick pulled away enough to look into Greg's eyes. "Greg, make love to me."

It was the way Nick's voice cracked a little, almost as if he had cracked open his shell just for Greg to crawl inside.

It was the way Nick's eyes filled just enough to brim, but not enough to allow a tear to slide down his cheek.

It was the way Nick bit his bottom lip, nervously anticipating the slide into unknown emotional territory.

Greg smiled into Nick's lips. "Slow is highly overrated."

Nick felt the heat of Greg's hands, sliding across his chest, heating his flesh and causing his heart to race. Nick felt Greg everywhere. His back, his chest, his abdomen, his shoulders. Nick wasn't sure when it happened, but he found himself pressed chest to chest with Greg. Nick's hands held Greg tight against his body, lips meshed perfectly with Greg's, tongues dueling for control.

Then just as suddenly the heat of Greg was replaced by a rush of cold air. Nick felt slender fingers gripping his wrist as he was pulled to his feet. "Bedroom."

Greg's hands were everywhere at once, his lips tasting every inch of Nick he could reach. Greg felt as if he were drowning in Nick - his smell, his touch, his flavor. Greg felt himself falling onto the mattress in a heap of arms and legs and heated flesh.

Nick felt Greg's body on top of him. Greg's weight grounded him in a way that he didn't expect. Nick wanted to feel this forever.

Greg felt Nick's cock, stiff against his thigh and hot - even with two layers of denim between them. Greg's own erection was being tortured by the grinding of thighs and groins that neither of them seemed to have any power to control. Their bodies seemed to be running on pure instinct - each craving the other - each demanding to have long-neglected needs fulfilled.

"Too many clothes." Nick groaned into Greg's neck before gently biting.

"MmmmmmHmmmmm." Greg seemed to have lost his ability to form words.

Greg pushed himself off of Nick. Nick immediately mourned the loss of the heat and weight and security. Greg straddled Nick's thighs, hands shaking as he attempted to unbutton Nick's jeans. Nick's eyes scanned Greg's flushed body and felt his jeans become even more uncomfortably tight in the crotch.

"Here, Greg, allow me." Nick took charge of his own pants. "Don't just sit there - get your pants off, too!"

Greg sprung into action, raising himself to his knees to pull his jeans off of his hips. He reluctantly pulled himself off of Nick completely so he could pull his jeans the rest of the way off of his legs, tossing them across the room.

Greg quickly resumed his position straddling Nick's thighs - only now they were both completely naked and Greg forgot to breathe.

"Nick. You're...you're so...I'm not sure I'm supposed to say this to a guy - but you're beautiful." Greg said in amazement.

"I'm glad you said it first - because I was thinking the same thing about you." Nick said in a deep, husky voice.

Greg leaned onto Nick's body, his lips finding the perfect fit without hesitation, Nick's tongue met his before lips even touched. Greg's hands found Nick's, fingers intertwined, Greg raised Nick's hands above his head. Greg's hips thrust into Nick's, cock against cock. Greg's lips moved toward Nick's neck by way of his jawline.

Nick had never felt anything like this. Ever. His body responded before his brain could comprehend what was happening. Nick felt every touch as if he were conducting electricity. He felt every hair of Greg's body, every curve, every jutting bone, every muscle that flexed.

Greg continued trailing kisses along Nick's neck and shoulder, moaning his pleasure as he went. Soon he found his way to Nick's chest, Greg's tongue delighted in tasting Nick's nipples - savoring the sounds of Nick sucking in air at the sensation.

"This is soooooo much better sober." Greg teased.

Nick chuckled, unable to articulate his extreme pleasure any other way.

Greg's tongue reveled in the feel of Nick's belly button, the taste of his skin. Greg felt himself getting harder as he licked his way down the fine line of hair that spanned between Nick's belly button and the courser hair surrounding Nick's cock.

Nick's cock.

Greg's cheek brushed against it. Velvety. Solid. Veins and muscle and glistening fluid. Nick was big. Long and thick. Greg thought he had never, ever, seen anything as beautiful as Nick's cock.

Greg wrapped his fingers around the base of it, twirled his tongue around the tip, licking the treasure from the slit. Greg knew he would crave this for the rest of his life.

Nick felt himself getting close - too soon - too fast - he wanted to feel this forever. Nick heard sounds reverberate in the air - he thinks they came from him but he couldn't be sure. Before Nick could warn Greg, he felt the tight grip of his orgasm and felt himself explode into Greg's mouth.

Greg felt Nick's body tense, felt the tightening of his bells, and anticipated Nick's orgasm. Greg loved Nick's flavor. He knew that many people didn't enjoy the taste of semen - and maybe it was just because it was Nick - but Greg loved it. He loved everything about it - the smell, the taste, the feel and weight of Nick in his mouth.

Nick had never had such an explosive orgasm. He looked at Greg, who crawled back toward him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Wait - Greg - come here." Nick pulled Greg's hand away from his mouth.

Nick grabbed Greg's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Nick licked the mess from Greg's lips and chin before giving Greg a deep, passionate kiss.

Greg couldn't believe Nick was licking his own come off of his mouth. Greg was so turned on. The feeling of it was so sensual, so intimate, so completely erotic. Nick's hips rocked into Greg's while Nick's tongue licked his chin and lips before pressing their lips together in a kiss that said 'I adore you.' Before Greg knew what was happening, he felt himself come all over Nick's groin and tummy.

"Oh god. Nick." Greg body shook through waves of orgasm. His face buried into Nick's neck. After his body stopped shaking, Greg groaned - embarrassed.

"How humiliating." Greg moaned, not able to look at Nick.

"Are you kidding? Greg! I made you come with a kiss!" Nick said as he pulled Greg's face up to look at him. "A kiss!"

"You're just being nice. God! I'm sorry - I made a mess." Greg started to move off of Nick so he could clean him up.

Nick wrapped his arms around Greg's waist. "Where you going?"

"To get a towel and clean up my mess!" Greg said.

"No.." Nick said as he kissed Greg's chin. "We're just getting started."

Nick rolled Greg onto his back and quickly nibbled his way to Greg's nipples.

Greg squirmed and moaned as Nick kissed and licked his way toward Greg cock, which was already hard again. Nick licked Greg's cooling mess from his belly. "Oh god, Greg, you taste so good."

"Nick." Greg's body was on fire. "Oh, god, Nick."

"Greg, you're so beautiful. Your body - so - god, Greg - you're just so - you smell like - so - I..." Nick felt frustrated by his inability to communicate, so he just took Greg's cock into his mouth instead.

Greg's back arched, his breath hitched, and a long, low rumble escaped his throat. Nick didn't do this a the conference. Greg can't remember anything ever feeling as good as Nick's mouth surrounding his cock. He felt Nick's tongue doing - _what is he doing? _- things that felt so good. The suction and swirling and pressure and light grazing of teeth - Greg's brain melted. Greg heard Nick moan at the same time that he felt the vibration of sound - pushing him once again over the edge. When Greg came, Nick sucked eagerly, wanting to taste every bit of what Greg had to offer. Once Greg's body stopped shaking, Nick lunged for Greg mouth, mixing their flavors together with tongues and lips.

"How can you be so good at that?" Greg asked in an exhausted tone.

"I've been dreaming about it for so long." Nick whispered into Greg's hair.

"So have I, but I need still practice." Greg giggled.

"You can practice as much as you want." Nick nudged.

"You're so good to me." Greg pinched Nick's ribs.

"Wanna take a shower?" Nick said seductively.

"Something tells me I should say yes." Greg said before another searing kiss.

They learned quickly that their attraction only magnified when they added water to the equation. The slide of wet lips, the feel of super heated skin, the feel of slippery flesh under layers of soap.

"I want to feel you inside of me." Nick huffed into Greg's wet neck.

Greg froze. "Nicky..."

"Please G." Nick begged as he slipped a condom into Greg's hand. "Please."

Greg's hands were shaking as he gently turned Nick until he was facing the wall of the shower. Greg was very careful, not wanting to hurt his new lover. He discovered that conditioner was an excellent substitute for lube in the shower. Greg found that the sensation of Nick's body, tightly constricted around his fingers, to be so erotic and intimate that he was glad for the water running down his face so Nick wouldn't see him crying. Greg's heart pounded in his ears. He heard Nick beg - literally beg - for more. Soon, Greg had three fingers sliding in and out of Nick. He felt his fingers brush against that nub and it sent Nick over the edge.

Nick screamed, biting his own forearm to keep from making too much noise. Nick's back arched, giving Greg much more access.

"Greg, please. I want you. Inside...god...Greg...fuck me!" Nick begged.

Greg felt his groin squeeze, the tug of pure desire. Greg never wanted anything more in his life. He squeezed a hand full of conditioner onto his palm and stroked his condom covered cock until he was slippery.

"Nick, tell me if I hurt you - O.K." Greg said gently.

Nick nodded his head - his breath coming faster.

Greg watched as his cock slipped past Nick's tight ring of muscle. He stopped as soon as the tip disappeared - waiting for Nick's body to adjust.

Nick just wanted to feel Greg inside, he wanted to feel full of Greg - he wanted to feel everything and he wanted it now.

Greg watched himself disappear inside of Nick when Nick slammed himself backward into Greg.

"Oh - yes. Greg - that's good. Just give me a second. Feels. Good." Nick caught his breath.

"Are you O.K.? Am I hurting you?" Greg was beginning to feel bad.

"No. Yes. Both. god. Greg." Nick felt himself stretch, the pain eased a bit and he just needed friction.

"Greg - move." Nick demanded.

Greg wasn't sure what Nick meant - until Nick's body began to rock back and forth. Greg felt himself sliding in and out of Nick's body. The feeling of it so intense - so tight and hot and magnificent. Greg began to meet Nick's rhythm watching himself fucking Nick - sure that he will never see anything so beautiful and knowing that he will want to see this again and again and again for the rest of his life.

"Nick. So good. You feel so good, Nick. I love you so much." Greg felt like his heart was beating just for Nick, matching the rhythm of their love-making.

Nick saw white lights with each thrust. Greg's aim was perfect. Each stroke hit Nick's prostate and created that delicious pleasure that mixed perfectly with the stretch and pull. "Harder, Greg. Please."

Nick felt Greg's hands on his hips, holding him steady - to him it felt like Greg was centering him - grounding him - keeping him safe. Nick felt himself bursting - his heart too full of the love he felt to contain it all. "Yes, Greg. Greg. Love. You. Greg. Love. You. LOVE YOU LOVEYOULOVEYOULOVEYOU!"

Greg felt Nick's body clench around him and he thrust two more times before slamming himself harder than he intended as he came inside of Nick. Greg felt hot tears streaming down his face, mixing with the shower water that was now merely warm.

Greg carefully pulled himself out of Nick's body, tossed the condom into the corner of the shower and leaned onto Nick's back to catch his breath. "I love you too."

After a few minutes of panting and leaning - Nick on the shower wall, Greg on Nick - Nick turned to face Greg. Nick looked into Greg's eyes for several minutes - seeing everything he had been looking for but was too afraid to have.

Nick ran his fingers through Greg's hair. Greg ran his hands up and down Nick's back, ending with them gently resting on his ass. The kiss that followed wasn't hungry, it wasn't hot and hard - it was soft, sweet, and full of love and promises.

Greg grinned into Nick's lips. "I've decided to give you another chance."

"Thanks for clearing that up." Nick laughed in a way that was both relieved and grateful. "I love you, G."

Greg simply nodded and melted into another steamy kiss while he said a silent prayer that love would be enough.

FIN


End file.
